WARNING: If you are a fan of sensitivity, you might want to pass on this post. I should quickly add that those favoring political correctness at all costs will not be happy with this content either. Oh, ah…those touchy, feely types might just want to keep on clickin’ as well. For those of you worried that my words lack thoughtfulness, delicacy and tact, that this post might not be as diplomatic and subtle as you like, you are dead on. Bye, Bye!
Remember the old saying “Stick and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me?” I like its sense of grit. It leaves one insulated from insults, out of reach of any feckless rhetoric. Now, a more popular version today can be summarized in an Eric Idle quote, the fantastic comedian from Monty Python. “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a corner and cry by myself for hours.” You gotta love it.
What has happened to us as individuals and as a society? When did we become so thin-skinned, so weakened by the words of another? How have we decayed from our original and inalienable virility to this wussy modern day mindset of vulnerability in the face of vulgarity?
Listen, if you can be wounded by the words or non-violent expressions of another, what the hell has happened to you? Offensive remarks and actions are in the ears and eyes of the beholder, or something like that. If you can be punched by the puny words of your neighbor, it’s your fault. Crushed by the remarks of a critic, I blame you. Solace is yours, if you surrender to another’s slander, you got bigger issues. If you’re truly tormented and traumatized by the words and actions of another, why not just admit your personal masochism and move on?
“Oh, Brian, let’s not be insensitive. We don’t want to hurt any feelings.” If that’s your opinion, I’d tell you where to go, but let’s face it, you’re already there! Your neurotic frailty condemned you long ago.
True, for younger folks, comforting words work. Who would ever advocate derailing a growing mind through derision. At some stage though, don’t we grow up, don’t we begin to realize that outside slams only make us stronger? Is there not a tipping-point when “sensitivity” only serves to coddle a human mind? At some juncture, sensitivity only stunts and enslaves growth. We begin to take outside opinion, make it our reality and chain ourselves to exterior comment and critique. What greater form of prison could you ask for?
When will we finally cure ourselves of the adult onset of sensitivity?
You have a natural right, protected by the First Amendment, to say what you think, as ignorant, insensitive, asinine, classless and crass as it may be. I have the ability to ignore your opinions and actions or, I can vote to invite it in. Should I choose the latter, how can I blame you? I welcomed you in. It’s my fault if your words or actions hurt me, not yours!
If you decide to respond to this post with a lack of compassion and complete insensitivity for my point of view…GOD love ya!
Please feel free to slam me on Facebook
You are welcome to ridicule me on Twitter
Comments
Amen! I couldn’t agree with you more! The “wussification” of America they call it!
“What other people say is of no concern to you unless you make it your concern.”
I LOVE IT.
Thanks for my new one liner!!
You have the right to DRIVE, not drive RECKLESSLY. Your illustration is moot.
Conducting yourself with respect for others is a personal issue. That is not what Brian is discussing here at all. He is talking about how we respond to the comments of others.
What other people say is of no concern to you unless you make it your concern. What people say cannot hurt you unless you let the words hurt you. In that case, as Brian says, shame on you. You’re the masochist, so why are you putting your issues on someone else by trying to stifle their speech.
If you want to treat people in your life differently by how you choose your words … fine, good for you, knock yourself out. However, no one should tell you how much more respectful you need to be, whether your comments have positive benefit or censor you because what is you say is subjectively determined to be disrespectful or useless.
I agree here 100%. Chill out people. Grow a backbone. Develop some self confidence. If someone barbs you verbally, ignore it or fight back with well conceived words of your own. But don’t go home and cry in your big pillow or try to pass legislation so no one can ever hurt your feelings again.
Finally, please don’t go all extremist on me and say, “Well, what about death threats? Those are just words!” Indeed, they are. All the world exists in degrees. If words against you bear taking action, take action. If words against you can be ignored, ignore them. The bottom line here is, don’t sit around whining and having your feelings hurt like a 5-year old.
Trevor, great points! Truly.
Thanks for the time you put into responding.
This is an interesting post. I completely agree that we’ve become way too sensitive. There seems to be a parade about everything, and everyone is some hybrid cultural label.
But I also think we’ve also become way too disrespectful of other people’s backgrounds and viewpoints. I think the reason we have all this PC nonsense, is because people naturally defend what they believe in when it’s attacked. This leads to divisions, good and bad, etc. When someone takes a disrespectful stance, it’s diminishing someone else, which implies that view is better than the other. It becomes a game of perception.
People don’t have to agree with others and you do have the right to free speech, your own opinion, etc. Having the right though (to say or think something) isn’t really the point. I have the right to drive, but that doesn’t mean I should be driving recklessly.
You have a thought in your mind you want to communicate to others. You can communicate it using your words (verbally or written) any which way you want. That’s your right. But just because you have that right, doesn’t mean you’re communicating your thought in a way that will do anything to benefit you or the person you’re projecting that thought on.
If you can’t identify the constructive value of your comment, then why project it on to someone? Sometimes people just want to hear themselves talk.
Just because you don’t see the value or viewpoint that someone else states, does that mean you should be destructive to them to reinforce your view? Or does your view stand on its own? If your view or opinion stands on its own, then there’s no need to be disrespectful to someone, even if you don’t agree with them.
So how do you stop the PC nonsense? Banging on it in a destructive way to prove a “right of free speech” won’t stop it. People need to think about what they’re trying to accomplish with their opinion or viewpoint. Most people though just think about what they want to say without understanding the impact of their words.
People are only going to agree or disagree, have a positive opinion or a negative one, etc. You can’t please everyone, but would you rather have someone who doesn’t share your view, respect you because you took the time to respect their opinion, or would you rather them automatically have a negative opinion because you were quick to invalidate their view? The opinions that are formed cascade to others too.
People saying that they don’t care what people think is a lie. Of course they care. Some have just become conditioned enough to understand that negativity exists everywhere and as you pointed out, it does make you stronger, but not always in a good way. You have to find the good, otherwise this leads to insecurities, anger, etc.
It’s too easy to be disrespectful. It takes thought, patience, and creativity to try and understand something that seems unfamiliar to you. Humans though are conditioned to follow the path of least resistance, so I would imagine the PC self defense is going to increase if people don’t change their ways.